Numb

What do you say when the words just aren't there?

How can you possibly sum up the life of a soul who changed yours forever?

How do you begin to fathom a life lost that you wrongly and naively believed would always be there?

The world lost a beautiful, amazing woman last night and I don't think it has fully sunk in yet. 

Over the next few hours, days and weeks, I know it will hit me, and I will inevitably crumble into a sobbing mess of a person. But right now, I just feel numb.

I lost my Grandma.

I am thankful the pain is gone.

I am thankful for the family and the legacy she left behind.

I am thankful for her eternal love and support.

Not many people truly understand me. Mind, body and soul. But my Grandma did.

She was a beacon of light and joy when things in life were bad, really bad.

She was my biggest cheerleader.

She was my best teacher.

Even as I type these words. They all seem wrong. There is no way to adequately convey the impact this woman had on my life.

So until this all sinks and until I find the words (if I ever do), I sit here. Numb.