My Husband Might Be The Only Reason I'm Sane

If you read that title and thought it was a way to grab your attention, well, you'd only be partially right. I truly believe Chuck is the sole reason I haven't teetered off the edge into insanity. And even that might be generous. Just ask the sweet man, himself, about last night when he held onto me as I cried, "Don't leave me!" in a sleep-deprived, emotionally-overloaded breakdown. I couldn't even tell you why that was the phrase I chose to utter repeatedly for a solid 15 minutes, I plead half-asleep-ness as the root cause. The truth is, pregnancy hormones are no joke. And just as I started to feel cocky and immune from Psycho Pregnant Lady Syndrome, the constant bitch-slapping that life has been giving me lately, proved to be too much for this gal.

Chuck and I found out we were expecting in April. April 19, to be exact. So we've had a little over three months to grapple with the reality of our new circumstance. 

In that same amount of time, my father has been admitted and discharged from the hospital on three separate occasions. 

In that same amount of time, we found out Chuck's father is battling a very serious illness of his own.

In that same amount of time, my Grandma (whom is the person I admire the most in the world), had major surgery to fix an issue no one knew she had. She has struggled through severe pain and does not appear to be getting better.

An oldie, but seemed appropriate.

If I sound vague, it's because I'm being vague. I want to protect the privacy of my loved ones and don't feel it is my news to share. 

But as you may imagine, it's been an emotional few months for me. Baby Pep's timing is both a blessing as it continues to be a beacon of positivity and hope in the midst of the ickiness, but it is also a concern. My Grandma is over a 9-hour drive away and I don't know how much longer it will be safe for me to travel that distance (especially as I'll be driving solo).

And yet, when I call Chuck to vent and/or share the latest news I've received about a family member, he will drop what he's doing to be my listening ear. He does not always have the words, but he always shows up. He somehow intrinsically knows when I need a cuddle, when I need alone time and when I just need to have a good cry. 

This man is such a beautiful soul. 

And might be the only reason I'm sane.