One Year as Mrs.

The day that felt as though it would never arrive, has come to pass, and much quicker than I anticipated.

As of today, 

I have been married for one year.

So here are some flashbacks to the day I said "I do," an obnoxiously sweet glance back at our first newlywed year and what I've learned in my...

i don't need a man.

Before I even met Chuck, I held this notion that a beautiful relationship should be rooted in a want to be with your partner and not a need to be. I think it is far more romantic to be an independent, self-sufficient woman who chooses to love someone versus being a dependent woman who derives her happiness and sense of worth from her partner. I was confident in who I was when I met Chuck, and content with the idea that if I never married I was responsible for my own happiness and could make a life for myself that was beautiful and full of adventure. I think arriving at that place of self-acceptance was foundational to my new role as a wife. I'm not some needy, pathetic person who needs my man to be happy. 

I am a woman who chooses to love my husband every single day.

marriage is a mirror.

The good, the bad and the ugly. That's how I see myself through my husband's eyes. Being one half of a marriage means I am constantly viewing my behavior and actions through a new perspective. Gaining insight into how Chuck sees me is humbling to say the least. One minute, I feel like the most special and significant person on the planet. And the next I do something completely selfish and through this mirror see what a complete asshole I can be sometimes. This mirror before me is relentless and honest. It has made me aware of my selfish behavior, my lazy attitude and my inner bully. But mostly, it has helped me on my way to becoming a better wife to the man who deserves the purest, kindest and most unconditional love.

not every second is great.

There are times when I wish we could fast forward past the petty fights, past the moping around with our homesick hearts and past the pre-mature grey hairs that our money matters have given us. Not every second of our first year has been blissfully happy. But every day has been good. Every day with my husband, is one more day that I thank God for this astounding and humbling blessing I have. Even with all the not-so-glamorous moments, there is absolutely nothing in this world I would trade for a lifetime with my husband.

I am so thankful for this opportunity to share a life with my best friend. And most days, feel so undeserving of the love Chuck showers me with every day.

I love our late night conversations on our back porch.

I love the sound of his laughter when I mercilessly tickle him.

I love when he walks through the door at night and drops everything so that I jump into his arms and be his "joey."

My most profound lesson learned during my first year as Mrs?

Marriage is awesome.