As I left work yesterday evening, I cried. I stopped momentarily at the mechanic when I asked if they could fit me in for an oil change. They couldn’t. I paused briefly as I made my way through the aisles of my local grocery store. But from the time I left work at 4:00 PM to the time I went to bed with my Hubby at 11:00 PM, I cried.
I am exhausted. Physically, my back is killing me from lugging customers’ cases of soda and water at my second job. Emotionally, I am so homesick and ready to move back to Ohio and be with our friends and family. Mentally, I am so discouraged and miserable at my job.
I am just plain exhausted.
I haven’t been posting my Sunday Blessings lately. One, because I’m either working or completely out of commission by the time Sundays roll around these days. Two, because I haven’t made God much of a priority these last few months. But today, for the first time in weeks, if not months, I prayed. I sat in a traffic jam caused by a three-car collision and prayed for those involved. I prayed for my Hubby who is equally as exhausted as I am. And ever-so-selfishly, I prayed for myself. I prayed for peace, for the strength to stand up for myself when I need to, for faith in God’s timing. In the midst, of a serious case of the blues, I humbly brought myself to the feet of my Lord.
I am still exhausted. Still miserable at work. But, I am not alone. I didn’t hit rock bottom. But I hit just low enough, to scrape together what faithfulness I have left to call on my God.
It’s funny how sometimes the very act of prayer is an answered prayer. Sitting in stop-and-go traffic, tearfully asking the Lord for more mercy and grace then I will ever deserve, I began to reflect on my blessings. So while I experience this rough patch, I am eternally grateful for the roof that rests over my head. For the food that fills my cupboards. And for the absolutely astounding love and kindness my husband bestows upon me every day.
I'm sorry to hear you are exhausted and feeling homesick. But I have total faith the God heard your prayers. And it's so true that He will never give you more than you can handle. And since you've scraped rock bottom, well, that means you can only go up from here right?
ReplyDeleteWhy do you say " ever-so-selfishly, I prayed for myself"? I once wrote a post about that. :)
ReplyDeletehttp://laurablogsagain.blogspot.com/2012/10/selfish.html
It's not selfish to pray for yourself. :)
My favorite verse is James 1:5. I'll let you look that up. If you are afraid you will forget later just go to blueletterbible.com and type it in real quick. It's good. It has become my most prayed prayer for myself and I find that it works and helps greatly.
Praying for you today friend! That you would find peace for each day, strength to do those unfun things that are so exhausting, wisdom for each situation and JOY!
Prayers are with you! I can totally relate on the homesick front :) Sometimes the little things can add a smile to my day so go get yourself a coffee (if you like it of course ha), paint your nails, buy some snacks, take a warm extra bubbly bath and prop your feet up & watch your fav chick flick ... it may just do the job ;)
ReplyDeleteSo sorry you are having a rough time -- but I know God hears your prayers and catches every tear. He knows exactly where you are and had a wonderful plan even though right now it may not seem like it. Keep your chin up and your eyes looking upward! :)
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry you guys are both so exhausted! Where are you guys living right now? Is it far from OH? Maybe a trip home one weekend would be a great pick-me-up for you guys. See your families and relax in a different/more positive atmosphere.
ReplyDeleteHope you guys feel better soon!
I'm sad for you :( And I'm not in the best of places lately so I don't have great words for encouragement for you.
ReplyDeleteBut I can say that I find it loving to pray for yourself, for your highest good.
Sounds like you are having a really rough time. Life can be so hard sometimes but like you said, there is still so much to be grateful for. I hope you can get to a happier place. You should be so sad and exhausted all the time. Hang in there!
ReplyDeleteI'm new to your blog.... It's absolutely adorable and I'm loving being a follower. : ) Really can't wait to get to know you!
ReplyDeleteI've been holding onto Hebrews 6:19, lately. I hope that encourages you too!
xoxoxox!
Kenz
www.lifeaccordingtokenz-xo.blogspot.com
This was so beautifully said as I remember feeling like this about my job before I left it to raise my daughter. I love how you said the act of prayer is an answered prayer...so true!
ReplyDelete