Last week I received an e-mail from Wordpress.com that my domain name "SustainablyKaity.com" was about to expire. The timing was ironic, because just as my time as a food blogger is coming to a close, so too, is my grad career.
As of last week, I am no longer enrolled in the Masters of Food Studies program at Chatham University.
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I've got a whole pile of mixed emotions running through my mind right now.
Anxiety, because I'm going to have to finally face the $130,000 mountain of student loan debt I've tried to prolong re-paying for as long as possible.
Contentment, because I no longer need to worry about balancing a full-time job and a 2-3 hour long commute with a class that I hated and didn't understand.
Peace, because I'm no longer investing money I don't have in a degree that provides no certainty of a better job at its conclusion.
Gratitude, because my husband is 100% ready to do whatever it takes to take on the aforementioned debt with me. He doesn't blame me or resent me for our financial standing- just accepts our reality and supports me.
Stress, because the reality is, we will both need to find second jobs just to stay afloat.
Am I embarrassed by the state of our finances? Honestly, a little. But after posting on Facebook, the feedback I got was overwhelming. Friends came out of the woodwork to give me incredibly valuable advice as to where to go for some direction in tackling our debt in a way that is pleasing to God. I know that although our debt is absolutely on the higher end, our situation is not unique. Millions of Americans are dealing with the same stress we are, and so, I find some comfort in sharing our story. I know we're not alone.
There's so much more that I could say on this, and in the near future, I may. But for now, I just wanted to share my honest heart and ask that you pray over my hubby and me as we transition into this new life.
I don't think there is ANYTHING for you to feel embarrassed about! Lots and lots of people are facing the same kinds of things... it's just life!
ReplyDeleteAbsolutely, you are NOT alone. It's the same here in Canada as well ($). I think the important thing is that you followed your heart/intuition. If you feel relief and contentment, that right there is worth it.
ReplyDeleteWhen I feel like that, which is totally normal btw, I focus on what is really important -God. There is a bigger plan for us. As long as you do your best (which you are doing), you are enough. The only thing you can do is your best! And God takes care of the rest ;) xoxo
It sounds like you did the best thing for you, which you should be very proud of! I always go back and forth about going back to school. I graduated two years ago from a four year university with a degree in Psychology and Sociology and to say the least, have a mediocre job at best (which I despise on most days). I love your outlook on the situation, and I definitely think its great to have such a supporting husband (and blog family :)). I hope you have a great week!
ReplyDeleteMegan
abrinkadventure.blogspot.com
Kaity - you both are in our prayers every day. You have such an honest heart and God will see you through this. I love you both to the moon and back!
ReplyDeleteMS
Praying for you girl! And your supportive husband. College debt is scary, but piece by piece, a burden will be lifted. It WILL get paid off.
ReplyDeleteP.S. I answered your question about our adoption waitlist numbers (too much to rewrite into this box!):
http://bringingyoumorethanasong.blogspot.com/2012/11/explanation-of-our-adoption-waitlist.html
Debit is definitely scary, but you will get it paid off! I think you should be so proud of what you've accomplished! Everything will work out just like it's supposed to!
ReplyDeleteyou should not at all feel embarrassed. you have to do what's right for you.
ReplyDeleteThinking of you girl. School debt sucks big time. I started selling these lockets for extra money, if you think you would be interested let me know. http://ktaylor.origamiowl.com
ReplyDeleteJust found your cute blog. Don't be embarrassed. I completely understand!
ReplyDeleteXoxo
Http:aaronkarina.blogspot.com
Oh my goodness, I am going through the same thing right now. I haven't left yet but I'm going back and forth on it for next semester. Almost-hubby is in school and we own a house so I'm really only in this to defer the loans... I envy that you had the courage to do this!
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