The Moment I Knew

In every relationship destined for marriage, there's that pivotal moment when you realize you've found "The One." Perhaps it's love at first sight, perhaps it's your first night apart when you learn that you don't know how to be without that person or maybe it's a result of nothing out-of-the-ordinary; just the knowledge that this person is your soulmate. For me, that moment happened on the fateful day of April 18, 2011...

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April 18, 2011

Typically, I’d be led to write something as introspective on my blog for the world to see, but this is a little too personal as of yet for my adoring cyber fans (…all two of them). Last night I came to a startling realization: Chuck is the man I’m going to marry. As his birthday festivities wound down, I found myself having a really nice conversation with his mother, Sherry. She had previously alluded to wanting to know what the future had in store for us and when she had me all to herself, she dropped the bomb on me- Chuck had confided in her that I was the one he was going to marry.

My heart dropped to my stomach and fear coursed through my veins. Fear because I felt inadequate to be anyone’s wife- especially in light of what an amazing man and husband Chuck is destined to be. Fear because I realized I was no longer 16 anymore and it was actually time for me to start becoming an adult. But mostly, fear that the life I’d never allowed myself to want for fear it would never happen was within my grasp and I trembled at the thought of losing it.

I spent much of the night later on, lying next to the man of my dreams, tossing and turning, recalling the conversation. I started out afraid that any marriage involving me would be doomed to fail, and the more I thought about it, the more I realized when I tore down the walls I’d built around my heart and opened myself up to the possibility of love four-ish months ago, God blessed me ten-fold.

So much of my life I’ve spent planning, analyzing and overthinking- all in an attempt to control my destiny and distract myself from the truest desires of my heart. Miraculously, through Chuck, God revealed to me that He knew all along what my wants and needs were and that His plan for my life was far better than anything I could’ve possibly imagined for myself. To witness that kind of love working in my undeserving life took my breath away.

So as I continued to ponder and as I utilized my Mommy’s wonderful and genuine advice I realized 1) God has granted me the opportunity to be extraordinarily happy, and 2) if I continue to open up my heart and trust in God’s plan for me, I’ve got this whole marriage thing in the bag.

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Every day something happens that reminds me why I love this man. Whether it's just a glimpse at his adorable face, hearing him attest to how much he believes in me or the moment it comes to light that we both ate out of the trash as kids...I can't wait to be his wife. 

I love you, Charles Albert Stuckert II.