Two months. 10 weeks. 72 days. That’s how long I have before I am officially no longer an AmeriCorps VISTA. While I have enjoyed the experience my VISTA term has provided me, I’ve found myself pretty much in the same position I was, one year ago exactly- scrambling to figure out who in this crazy world would ever hire me. I received my rejection letter regarding my grad school application last week, as well as one from a summer job I had made it through two rounds of interviews with and my additional job hunting efforts appear to be fruitless.
Being the control freak that I am, of course, this current climate has found me feeling a lot of pressure. Pressure to find a stable paying job to be able to cover my impending student loan payments. Pressure to dedicate my life to something significant and world-changing. Pressure not to fail. In the midst of the job-hunting chaos, I took a step back and I realized some things.
First, the only person putting pressure on me, is me. My family is not only aware of how sucky the current economic climate is, but they’re incredibly supportive and whole-heartedly believe in my ability to succeed, regardless of the position I find myself in. Not only that, but if I look around at my friends and peers and examine where they find themselves on their career paths, I am by no means a failure. I am experiencing the same woes, disappointments and frustrations as virtually every other post-grad I know.
Second, I continue to catch myself failing to realign my thinking concerning what it means to live a life of significance. I am passionate about ending world hunger. I am passionate about revolutionizing the global food system, to allow for more equal access to nutritious food across the board. I am passionate about sustainable living. These are all things that I will continue to work toward for the rest of my life, but do I honestly expect to single-handedly lead the revolution toward a more proportionate and just global food system? Which is more significant- making it to the top of a corporate hierarchy or to live simply and gracefully, all the while reflecting the love of Jesus?
It is dismaying that this is something I must continually remind myself of. I can choose to ascribe to the world’s definition of success, or I can live in the Light and live successfully as a servant of Christ. While the job-hunting blues may get me down, I’m going to choose the latter of the two.
Being the control freak that I am, of course, this current climate has found me feeling a lot of pressure. Pressure to find a stable paying job to be able to cover my impending student loan payments. Pressure to dedicate my life to something significant and world-changing. Pressure not to fail. In the midst of the job-hunting chaos, I took a step back and I realized some things.
First, the only person putting pressure on me, is me. My family is not only aware of how sucky the current economic climate is, but they’re incredibly supportive and whole-heartedly believe in my ability to succeed, regardless of the position I find myself in. Not only that, but if I look around at my friends and peers and examine where they find themselves on their career paths, I am by no means a failure. I am experiencing the same woes, disappointments and frustrations as virtually every other post-grad I know.
Second, I continue to catch myself failing to realign my thinking concerning what it means to live a life of significance. I am passionate about ending world hunger. I am passionate about revolutionizing the global food system, to allow for more equal access to nutritious food across the board. I am passionate about sustainable living. These are all things that I will continue to work toward for the rest of my life, but do I honestly expect to single-handedly lead the revolution toward a more proportionate and just global food system? Which is more significant- making it to the top of a corporate hierarchy or to live simply and gracefully, all the while reflecting the love of Jesus?
It is dismaying that this is something I must continually remind myself of. I can choose to ascribe to the world’s definition of success, or I can live in the Light and live successfully as a servant of Christ. While the job-hunting blues may get me down, I’m going to choose the latter of the two.
Honey, you are in no way a failure!!! I would say less than 10% of the 2010 graduating class has accomplished as much as you have in just one year. You GOT A JOB THAT HAS SOMETHING TO DO WITH YOUR MAJOR!!!!....a feat most of us have yet to overcome. You also found a way to afford to live on your own. Most of our class either got married to each other or still live with mom and dad. You on the other hand moved hours away to try a new life. You're amazing! You are also extremely courageous and contain a servant's heart, with that combination, do not be discouraged by God's plan for your life.
ReplyDeleteYOU COULD NEVER BE A FAILURE IN HIS EYES....or mine for that matter :)
Also, it is so hard trying to find a job. You're not the only struggling former student trying to pay her bills. And you do have a supportive family :) It will be ok, we are all in this together!
I love you soooooo much!!!
-Your Soulmate